Healing the Healer: Making Changes
by conchick
Summary: Is change really possible? Knock Out joined the winning team at the end of Prime. At the end of the movie he was standing with the Autobots for Optimus's speech. He watched Optimus join the Allspark and then was no longer with the others. He left to reflect. Here are his musings.


Making Changes

_"...And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
And say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me"-_Nickleback, "Savin' Me"

**Disclaiamer: Transformers and Savin Me lyrics belong to their respective owners.**

The crimson colored ex Decepticon stood in the company of the Autobots in complete disbelief. He was trying to process the events of the last kliks and the last few cycles. It was all surreal like a dream, or more accurate for him like a nightmare. For vorns he had fought for the moment he would stand alongside victorious soldiers and reclaim Cybertron, He never in his wildest imagination conceived that he would stand victorious alongside autobots after seeing them destroy his leader, then Unicron in his leaders hull, then watch his resurrected leader disband the army and leave for Primus on knows where to do Primus only knows what, and finally watch Optimus Prime sacrifice himself to keep Unicron dead. He wasn't sure it really did happen, but he couldn't shake Optimus's last words to them. "You all have the capacity to be Primes" or the images of Optimus's spark joining with the Allspark. He needed to get away and drive for a while to collect his thoughts and settle his uneasy tanks.

He wasn't sure where he was driving and it really didn't matter. Speed was the only thing that mattered at this moment. He drove fast, faster than the 200 mph that the Aston Martin's odometer read. He drove into the outskirts of what was once great city states. He drove past the old ruins and battle grounds and eventually found himself in the outskirts of what was left of Tarn. It was Megatron's old city and not surprisingly one of the first to fall to him and his armies. It was one that Knock Out spent a lot of time in as a youngling and then later after the start of the war .His time there after the start of the war was due to casualties and there being resources he was able to scavenge before officially joining the Decepticons. He did so mainly to avoid scavenging. He grew tired of that having to do it so often. That was why he hated the caste system so much, in spite of the fact that it affected him less than some. He had always been self- centered.

He assumed correctly that there would be more resources and the Cons would less likely object to his idea of triage and "mercy". He ended many lives for parts. Sure they would have died anyway regardless of treatment. They were code black but rather than letting them die he killed them. The Autobots would have definitely considered that murder. He justified it then but now he began to wonder and question his own actions. He even began to question his career choice. Admittedly he was better at breaking them than fixing them but he was good at fixing them too. How many times did he save Megatron so that he could continue his killing spree? A killing spree that lasted millions of years and spread throughout the galaxy dragging numerous other species into their conflict. Knock Out saw the skeletal remains of long dead cybertronians that were just left as the war raged. Many of them he may have known at one time. At one point he would have just considered them parts. He was beginning to have his doubts.

His real reason for doing what he did was that he didn't want to get injured unnecessarily or even scratch his paint so he used it to stay off the front lines.

He continued driving into Koan past what was left of Dark Mount and around the smelting pools. It still reeked of war and death. Of all the ruin the smelting pools were still there. He thought of the waste. He always believed them to be a waste, disintegrating perfectly good frames when letting him have the POW's to dissect would have been much more fun and once again spare parts. Now it all seemed sickening. The only good thing that crossed his mind about this place was his happenstance chance of meeting Breakdown.

Primus, he missed that mech. They made quite a pair. His sneak attacks and Breakdown's brute force. Brains and Brawn he thought. A perfect combination. Captured by humans and rescued by Starscream. Why hadn't he been there for him? That was a question that haunted him to this day. Perfectly useless now though. He was just one more causality of war, a senseless war. He reeved his engine in fury and took off at top speed pushing his systems to the limit. Once more feeling the wind rush over his frame.

He found himself at the remains of Iacon. Once a beautiful place with gold and silver hues and metallic spires marking the center of commerce and knowledge. It could be rebuilt he was sure but it would only be a shadow of its former glory. He drove closer. The shattered spires had fallen in ruins. The archives inside, the repair schools, the hope of knowledge and power gone so completely over the millennium. What a waste! He thought. Knowledge wasn't just for a faction. It should have been allowed for all cybertronians. He sat and thought. He had joined the winning team at the end of the war simply because who wanted to side with the losers or with the rude weak seeker? He would come back here if he needed to. Despite most of the records being destroyed if something survived he would find it here. At the moment he didn't want to wait around to find it among the dead. He took off again. He considered going to Praxus or Polyhex but why? It would just serve to make the medic sicker. He needed to embrace life!

He had been a part of all the pain and destruction of his own planet, of his once beautiful planet and most of the inhabitants. He vowed early on to save lives but he destroyed so many. Could restoration happen? Could individuals really change? It seemed his former leader had changed? He was at least in the process of change where ever he was. Knock out was sure of that. Perhaps he could as well. He couldn't do it alone. Optimus's last words were that any of them standing there could have been primes. Sure his team was there but so was he. Did Optimus really believe he had that potential too? In spite of everything. He told them he didn't have the best of role models and while that was true change was possible. If he was willing to try he was sure the Autobots would help. They helped humans after all. At least Knock Out was one of them. Perhaps he could be a prime. Unlikely. But Megatron was overthrown and killed and resurrected so anything was possible. He would swallow his pride for a little while and try to find out!

**A/N While I may write more later now I think I will leave it as a one-shot**


End file.
